Where were we?

Oh yes, the appointment with the psychologist.

Another step in the right direction. My appointment was set for 20 June 2007.

what can I say, I was nervous and at the same time excited, scared, petrified, worried and so the list continues. I felt them all. More than anything in the world I needed this one woman to give me her stamp of approval for motherhood.

I could proceed against her better judgement. There are many ways to catch a man. But you see, that was not the route that I wanted to follow. I did not just want any man. He had to be special in every way. Afterall, he was going to be the "father" of my children. Their physical appearence, emotional and intellectual intelligence would be determined partly by him.

20 questions???

No, more than 20, lots. I wont call her by her name so for future reference I will refer to her as Ms "L". Ms L was wonderful and immediately made me feel comfortable. She asked me why I wanted to become a mom and I told her about my dreams and aspirations and my losses along the way. My losses are not only the fact that I lost my mom to cancer but also that I had lost and would be giving up on finding "Mr Right" for now. He could come later when I had my children but age was creeping up on me and my clock was ticking. A woman's fertility declines after the age of 35. Her quality off eggs also weaken. Age is not a good thing. Well okay perhaps it brings wisdom.

Ms L was lovely and made me feel comfortable. She understood as she herself had struggled with infertility but today is also a proud mom.

At the end of our session she told me that I would need to undergo psychometric tests before she could do her final assessment and prepare a report for the FS.

Monday, 9 July 2007 (3 days before my birthday)
Lots of questions but all appropriate I suppose.

The same night Ms L phones me to tell me that my results were good (no, I am not a pschopath and I do not hear voices). She is happy to approve me mentally for being a single mom. Yay!!! She will send through a report to the FS.

Another step in the right direction - another step closer to being a mommy.