D - Day

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

I arrive at the hospital just before 14:00 and the routine checks are done - blood pressure, urine, etc.

Approximately 16:00 my gynae arrives and informs me I am going to theatre at 16:30. Yikes so soon, I want my pre-med. I am nervous and worried. What is wrong? What is the fluid behind my uterus? Blood?

I am wheeled into theatre and everyone is talking and joking and I am shaking like a leaf. The anethesist inserts the needle into my arm and then its zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz for me.

I remember waking up with pain and the Sister telling me that I am staying in hospital. I wonder why because my friend is due to fetch me at 20:00. I am told that they were worried about me cause I was in theatre for so long. I look down and my stomach is blown up like a balloon.

An hour later my gynae arrives. He says "my girl you wont be going home. He said I had to remove your left fallopian tube. There was too much blood and the only way to stop the bleeding was to remove your tube. You had an ectopic pregnancy, the baby was growing in your tube". WTF? I was pregnant!!!!!!! It would have been twins!!!! One baby in the uterus but the second baby was growing in my tube. That explained all the pain and the continous bleeding.

I am devastated. My chances of falling pregnant has now been reduced to 50%

My gynae checks up on me daily and after three days I am discharged. I go stay with a friend for two days as I am not able to do much and as I live alone I need someone to help me.

I struggle for days which eventually roll into weeks. I am slowly spiralling into the black pit known as depression. Babies consume my thoughts and the lack of babies even more. How will I ever be able to fulfill my dream of becoming a mother. Now what?